Ministry is so amazing. I mean really what is better then waking up every single day knowing that God has work to be done… and he wants us to do it. Sometimes I love ministry so much that im not even sure what it is I want to do. I just want to do something. I guess thats okay for a while but Ive come to realize thats not allowing God to use us the way were intended. We are all different, every single person. Not like any other. God is brilliant! If you know amazing ministers of God… like Ive been so blessed to know, Its hard not to recognize this. The guys I know…? yeah the amazing ones. Alot of them dont minister in the way they invisioned themselves ministering, as a matter of fact it looks like nothing they thought it would and they couldnt be happier about it. Lately my prayer has been what is it in life that Lights my soul on fire to serve the God that created me. What did he put inside of me that makes me burn so bright that I cant see whats in front of me. I cant see my future nor will I understand it. See I was kind of skeptical about a test we took recently. Its a strengths finder test… and basically it tells you what you naturally enjoy doing and tend to be good at without any sort of effort. I thought… man how dumb is that, Why would we do only what we enjoy doing? There is always going to be stuff we have to do that we dont really want to do. I think about when Jesus told Peter he was going to deny him three times before his death. Jesus nor Peter wanted that to happen. Peter I could imagine was in disbelife… and essentially lied to God saying that he would never deny him as the Christ. My point is we are going to have to do things we dont want to do. Always, God will make us… We may not want to, we may not understand. However if we are building our ministries around what were good at! When we screw up! It wont be so bad! Peter lied to God, but see peter was eating God all the time. So really it wasnt that big of a deal. I see my parents, and hear other parents. When I ask them how work was? Their response… it was work. To me that sucks. I dont want to go to work. I WANT TO GO TO WORK!!!! The amazing ministers I know, they may not be changing the world, their ministries may not be huge, but they are doing what God has intended them to do and I pray for all of you who read this that God will light your souls ablaze and you will seek his intentions. If you know what Lights your soul on fire… do it till you die! Never give it up. No matter what happens. Your ahead of the game. Dont waste your abilities.
So last night during our college service we passed around this silly little book that gives you a choice between two evils. For example, taking a bullet to the chest or a knife to the back. Being in an elevator full or peoples farting gas, or a pool full or urine. There were some other funny ones… but one of the questions I got asked has really stuck with me since last night. The question was, would you rather be loved for something your not, or hated for something you are? Instantly I responded with hated for something I am. Because thats the truth. I hate being fake, I hate being lied to, mislead, or misunderstood. It was so clear how Satan can so easily work through things we allow people to believe about us. How we make assumptions or ideas about other people and other situations and allow those thoughts to get out of control… when in some cases their not even true.
So if I have ever offended someone with what Ive said… Im not sure I feel bad. Matthew 12:33 states, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” Whether my heart is right… thats not my point. My point is id rather you hate every single vapor of my body for everything immature, irrational, and blunt that I may be. Instead of believing im something greater then someone else. Because Im not. Because none of us are, and because love is the true acceptance of people no matter who and where they are. In doing so, trying to help them become the most Godly person they can be.
This week was insane to say the least. Pleasant Ridge Fine Arts Academy put on their annual dance recital in the Odell Auditorium at Greensboro College. Every year… if you have ever been or participated in the event, you may have noticed God moves in a big way. The last three years Ive helped work backstage with props and flooring ect. It really is alot of fun but sometimes I find it frustrating because I dont really get to take in the experinece. Its hard to really worship through dance when you have big black curtains in the way… and if you move out from behind the curtain you have huge bright bug zapping spot lights screaming into your eyes. I want to see the whole picture. Which usually comes when I get to see the tape of the recital. I want to be able to sit back and take it in. I feel like im missing out on God. However Im not sure there has ever been a year where I didnt find my self in chills wrapped in prayer or in tears because of the heart that fills those performances every year.
God being the spotlight of our faith… Isnt always as front and center as we would like him to be. Many times hes the one backstage, laying down the floor, setting up the props, working in the darkness in ways our minds cant comprehend. So many times especially in my life currently, I find myself asking God whats going on!?!?! Dim the lights and move the curtains becasue I cant see what your doing and quite frankly I hate it. There is so much I cant see, so many questions left unanswered. Part of it is because Im impatient… part of it is because whatever God is doing, is making absolutly no sense to my small finite brain. More so I feel humbled to be apart of something I have no control over. I feel overwhelemed with the story God is writting. I feel terrified of losing what I have. However its rare to find myself not wrapped in chills, prayer and tears, because of the heart that God has for me, and on a daily basis trying to discover what God is doing behind the bright lights and black cutains of my life.
